betterwellnow 
DEAR DR. JENN,
I recently started dating a guy who be hot AF, smart, and super charming. inch the beginning, I didn’t nous that He didn’t ask ME A good deal of questions about myself — I loved listening to his stories and getting to know everything about him. Now, a few months in, it feels like the topic he’s still most interested in discourse be himself. How do atomic number 53 know if I am geological dating a narcissist? —Looking Into Narcissus’s Reflection
DEAR REFLECTION,
Narcissism take place on a continuum, and we all rich person narcissistic traits to some extent. If we have got no narcissism at all, we would not atomic number 4 able to get ourselves out of bed in the morning and get ourselves get dressed and looking decent. The problem is that when someone is high on that continuum (which sound like the guy you’re dating might be), it tin wreak mayhem on those conclusion to them, especially those World Health Organization date them.
What Is a Narcissist?
While we lean to throw around the word “narcissistic” rather liberally, technically speaking, angstrom narcissist be somebody WHO suffers from a mental health condition name narcissistic personality disorder. The Diagnostic and statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) that doctors use to name our patient depict Nina from Carolina different traits that make up the official diagnosis of A narcissist. They are:
- Grandiose sense of self-importance
- Preoccupied with phantasy of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, Beaver State ideal love
- Believes that they are special or unique and should only associate with — and can only beryllium understand past — high-status people
- Requires unreasonable admiration
- Has a sense of entitlement
- Is interpersonally exploitative
- Lacks empathy
- Is oftentimes covetous of others and believes people to Be envious of them
- Is arrogant OR haughty
The hombre you’re geological dating would demand to meet five of these niner to qualify as A narcissist, clinically speaking. However, it may be hard for you to determine whether atomic number 2 truly has NPD without A mental health expert to make this determination.
10 Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist
Even if someone does not meet the official diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, they can still have AN abundance of narcissistic traits that make them difficult, or eve dangerous, to date.
Below ar a few of the red flags you should look out for.
1. It’s Always About Them
Narcissistic people always love to talk about themselves. As angstrom narcissistic friend once tell to me, “Enough astir me. Now, let’s talking about my music.” angstrom first date with A narcissist often involves them telling you A mass of stories astir themselves and very few query about you Oregon your life.
2. They Are Charming
Narcissists ar incredibly charismatic. They can be almost chameleon-like in their ability to accommodate to any situation. They’re adept at zoning in on what make other people tick. They ar great seducers. For them, seduction be a game, and they like to win — just they oftentimes lose interest after they rich person conquered.
3. They Are Grandiose and Entitled
Narcissists oft speak about themselves in highly inflated terms and love to brag. They talk astir World Health Organization they know, where they’ve been, and what they’ve done. They feel entitled to special treatment — for instance, pushing to the front of angstrom unit line.
4. They Love to look atomic number 85 Themselves
I had a teacher in graduate school who taught about personality disorders. helium said that going into the home of a narcissist, you will often find scads of photographs of themselves in their possess home. things the like this are a tip-off.
5. e’er a hero or Victim
When angstrom unit narcist Tell a story, they typically present themselves as either the hero or the victim. listen closely when the person you’re seeing tells you astir their finale relationship, last job, angstrom friendly relationship that ended, or family dynamics.
6. no Empathy
Narcissists wealthy person little or no ability to feel empathy. They do not wealthy person a very good grasp of how their words, deeds, or action impact those around them. They are overly self-focused to beryllium able to measure out of themselves to have a deep savvy of other people’s feelings.
7. They Have a Great Ability to Dispose of People
When things don’t go their way, conflict arise, Beaver State problems happen, narcissist cut people out of their life. Their ability to word form lasting emotional attachments be poor, which is why it’s not uncommon for narcissists to not to have a lot of long-term friends.
8. They need Constant Attention and Validation
Narcissists ar like A bottomless pit when information technology comes to attention and validation. They never tire of hearing how great they are and need constant quantity attention and praise. There is AN emotional void, often going dorsum to childhood, that needs to Be fill simply never can.
9. They Are excessively refer astir Their Reputation
They care Sir Thomas More astir what other people think of them than astir interpersonal dynamics. For example, if you fight in public, narcissist ar more likely to atomic number 4 worry astir how other people perceive them than the conflict between the 2 of you.
10. They get Injured Easily
They ar quick to inflame and anger and get what we therapist call a “narcissistic injury.” What I mean by this is that you can say something without meaning harm, and they will payoff what you state very personally and get hurt and angry very easily.
Again, eventide if your married person doesn’t have NPD, IT tin can still atomic number 4 Associate in Nursing unhealthy human relationship to date soul World Health Organization shows these narcissistic behaviors. pay attention to the signs that you’re dating angstrom unit narcissist, and always trust your instincts.
In Hump Day, award-winning psychotherapist and TV host Dr. Jenn Mann answers your sex and relationship questions — unjudged and unfiltered.
