DEAR DR. JENN,
My best friend started geological dating angstrom adult male that be old enough to be her father. I gotta say, IT creeps me out. I can’t say that to her though. She be happier than I have of all time see her. I know celebrity brawl this all the time… just I’m skeptical about how well this can work. DOE age really not matter? —Old Enough to beryllium Her Father
Meet the expert
Dr. Jenn Mann be a certify marriage and family therapist.
DEAR old sufficiency TO BE HER FATHER,
In three decades of being a therapist in private practice inch Beverly Hills, I wealthy person seen my share of “age gap” relationships. “Age gap” human relationship ar typically defined by union where I person be 10 years or Sir Thomas More aged than the other.
We all know celebrity couple WHO have do it.
Celebrities with Age Gap Relationships
In the past, with heterosexual couples information technology Evergreen State often aged men with younger women, notwithstanding now the table has turn with many older adult female dating younger men, such As Heidi Klum and her husband Tokio Kaulitz. here be a list of a few celebrities with age-gap relationships:
- Priyanka Chopra & dent Jonas (11 years)
- Chris Pratt & Katherine Schwarzenegger (10 years)
- Ellen DeGeneres & Portia Diamond State Rossi (15 years)
- George Clooney & Amal Clooney (17 years)
- Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds (11 years)
- Jay-Z & Beyoncé (12 Years)
- Adam Levine & Behati Prinsloo (10 years)
- Jason Statham & Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (20 years)
- Matt Bomer & Simon Zelotes Halls (13 years)
- Heidi Klum & Edo Kaulitz (16 years)
- Michael Douglas & Catherine Zeta-Jones (25 years)
- Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor (31 years)
- David Stephen Collins Foster & Katharine McPhee (35 years)
- Florence Pugh & Zach Braff (21 years)
“But those are celebs,” you May say. only what astir regular people? How large of AN impact DOE an age gap wealthy person on the quality and longevity of angstrom unit relationship? Well, consort to a study of age spread and marital satisfaction, the bigger the age spread betwixt the deuce fellow member of angstrom unit couple, the more dissatisfaction be reported. That’s not to say it isn’t possible to have angstrom healthy relationship with a important age gap, simply IT be certainly more challenging.
Now keep in mind, there be a very big difference between a 20-year age gap betwixt A 20-year-old and angstrom 40-year-old versus a 50-year-old and a 70-year-old. As we get older and have more life experience, the gap does look to conclusion angstrom unit bit.
Why be information technology that there be a challenge to begin with? There ar a few significant reasons.
The power Gap
The most significant issue that I see over and over again in my clinical therapy pattern be that with a significant age gap, typically one individual inch the couple has Army for the Liberation of Rwanda more life experience, and oft financial means. That gap create a large powerfulness difference.
It be very common, inch my clinical experience, that an older someone with angstrom unit significantly jr. partner tends to want to beryllium in control. And patch it may feel great for that younger person inch the beginning — to feel cared for emotionally, financially, and otherwise — eventually, IT commonly feel controlling.
A Different frame of Reference
When there be angstrom important enough age gap, your frame of reference becomes very different. in the movieWhen beset Met Sally, provoke be talking astir angstrom younger woman atomic number 2 be geological dating and input to angstrom unit friend that when he inquire her where she WA when Kennedy was shot she replied, “Ted President Kennedy was shot?” A uniting question of one generation tin can be confound to another.
Small things the likes of this can point out big difference betwixt people. pop civilization references, life experiences, and yesteryear times all are often different and make information technology harder to find common solid ground and connection.
Societal Pressures
I wealthy person know quite angstrom few age gap couples who have had house fellow member disinherit them because of the age gap betwixt them and A partner. Friends, family, coworkers, acquaintances, and society all wealthy person strong thought about age gap couples. This can result in the couple being isolated and miss angstrom unit support system.
Mommy and Daddy Issues
This HA become almost angstrom cliché. But sometimes clichés become cognise for good reason. It is not uncommon for a person who has not worked through their issues with their mother Oregon their father to unconsciously seek to re-create that dynamic in a romantic relationship.
The unconscious Energy non know the difference between past, present, and time to come and is e’er try to heal all the wound in the electric current time. have a male parent figure as a romantic partner tin can sometimes be AN effort to heal the wounds from that old relationship.
In Hump Day, award-winning psychotherapist and TV host Dr. Jenn Mann reply your sex activity and human relationship question every week — unjudged and unfiltered.